I usually don’t feel any different the day of my birthday. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I still get ecstatic, waking up with a big smile knowing that today isn’t any ‘ordinary’ day and feeling more loved than one would/should. So by different, I really mean older. I never feel any older. Or at least I never used to feel any older. Today, however feels different from all my past birthdays. Maybe it’s the sequence of events that led up to today, or everything that’s happened to me in the last year. Regardless, I feel exponentially older than a year ago. And like most changes that occur in my life, I’m feeling that mix of fear and excitement, i feel it rolling up into a giant ball in my stomach, floating around only to reach a point that’s only slightly upsetting, never getting any worse, never getting any better. I’m anxious, yet confident. Completely unsure of what’s ahead, but ready to tackle it. I’m curious as to how the next year will turn out, but I’m not about to take a sneak peak. One step at a time, and all will be fiiinee.
